How it wasn't supposed to happen
by wannabe witch11
Summary: We all know, or think we know how everyone got together and such. But sometimes plans get ruffled.. Like say when a normal muggle girl gets dragged into the mix. It's the marauders era and they are all in for a surprise.RLxOC,SBxOC,JPxOC rated T to be saf
1. I wish

_I walked in from soccer practice to find my family sitting in the living room each absorbed in their individual tasks. I glanced out the window on my way to my room and saw the big, yellow full moon. As I exited I called over my shoulder,_

"_Watch out for Remus tonight! Ah-whoo!" I howled. My family just rolled their eyes. Although none of them had read it they knew this must have had something to do with harry potter as I was obsessed with it. I had just been joking because obviously, magic isn't real. But I hadn't no idea how truthful my statement was._

_I was a freshman in high school and had made the jv team which meant I got home late every night. I was typing up a paper on my computer and it was almost midnight. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I was just about to start typing again when I heard a strange sound. I quieted and strained my ears. A howl. This unnerved me a bit but I just sat there until I heard it a third time. Ok, this was definitely not my imagination. I put on some tennis shoes and grabbed a light jacket to wrap around my bare shoulders. I wandered outside towards the howling. It was coming from the middle of the woods. After a few minutes I decided to turn back until I heard a small growl from behind me. Slowly I turned and looked into a pair of amber-yellow eyes. It was a creature that looked like a wolf except for 5 variations, one being that it was twice a wolf's size! I couldn't move and the creature pounced. I crashed painfully to the ground, the creature's claws tearing at my skin. I kept waiting for the terrible moment it would bite me but as I looked at it, it seemed to be fighting with itself, trying not to attack me. But then I realized it was just my imagination as it opened it's jaw wide to sink it's yellowish fangs into my neck. I cringed but was relieved of the large animal's weight as a large black blur tackled it to the ground. I tried to sit up but the world slipped away into a peaceful blackness.--_

_As the werewolf ran away into the woods the big black blur (dog) turned to see a white stag standing by the victim. They both transformed back into their human forms._

"_Padfoot, we've got to get her to St. Mundos look at her!" he said getting on one knee and brushing a strand of bloodied hair from the girl's torn face._

"_Prongs! She's probably a muggle. Check her pockets, if she were a witch wandering in the darkness she'd bring a wand." Padfoot said_

"_Nope, no wand. But what are we supposed to d? we can't take her to the muggle hospital." the two boys looked at each other concerned. Dumbledore was gonna kill them, and this girl could die.--_

_The peaceful darkness faded to a harsh bright whiteness and blinding pain. I cried out in anguish and tried to move anything but realized I couldn't. I relaxed and took even breaths looking around. I seemed to be in some strange hospital. Thank god! Someone found me! A nurse hurried over her uniform had a symbol of an engraved sort of stick crossing a bone that was slightly familiar. _

"_Oh deary! Bringing muggles here! Attacked by a werewolf they say! Dear Merlin how did she survive that!" The nurse tsked to herself. I blinked furiously to keep the pain down. I cleared my throat to get her attention._

"_Oh my! You're awake! Well I'll be right back with your visitors!" she bustled out of the room. When she came back in she was leading three young boys._

"_These three saved your life deary! Lucky one you are!" she said looking fondly down at the boys. She walked away and the boys began to talk to me but their mouths moved silently. I realized they were introducing themselves as they stuck out hands. Whatever magical potions they had given me along with the shock of the situation made me dizzy and I flopped back against my bead, mouth hanging wide with surprise. Everything was falling into place. The third boy seemed a little banged up himself and couldn't bring himself to look directly at me._

"_Remus Lupin look at me right now!" I whisper commanded. His head shot up and he obeyed and I peered into his eyes. I smiled._

"_You tried to fight it didn't you? Oh remus!" I said fondly and smiled brightly. He seemed a little taken aback because of what I knew but decided to play dumb._

"_Wh-what?" he stuttered looking away. Obviously he was a bad liar. I was frustrated. The three marauders were sitting in front of me acting like perfect, not to mention, silent angels. I voiced my frustration with a loud huff._

"_What's eating you?" Sirius asked. James nudged him in the ribs because of his dumb question. However, at this moment my pain wasn't bothering me in the slightest._

"_When do you all start school?" I said trying to sound off hand and friendly._

"_Uh-September 1__st__" James informed me. I giggled with glee at this simple statement. I was just pleased at Rowlings accuracy. She was officially the most awesome person ever! Even though I had decided this many years ago. I knew what had to happen to them all so I decided to savor it. At that moment Dumbledore calmly strode into the room, conjured up a chair and sit beside the three greeting them cordially. They all donned faces of pure innocence immediately. Ah finally some real marauder attitude! Of course, if I were them I'd be solemn in this sitch too! Hell, if I were them I'd be a wizard! Oh yeah!We sat for a few moments of silence when Dumbledore spoke._

"_Hello, Miss. My name is Albus Dumbledore. Headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry."_

"_Nikki Varney, plain, boring, non-magical muggle girl who wishes more than anything to see Hogwarts maybe just once?" I said hopefully. The four men chuckled softly and Dumbledore's eyes gleamed._

"_Well ms. Varney, your wish will come true," he started and my eyes widened excitedly, "As you have been attacked by a magical creature your wounds must be treated in a magical hospital, namely Hogwart's Hospital Wing. Normally we'd have you fixed in a jiffy but with your extensive wounds we'll have to heal it slowly. Madam Pomfrey can certainly cover your wounds and scars as the creature was still young. While you are healing you may stay at Hogwarts in one of the four houses…"_

"_May I stay in Gryffindor?" I pleaded. He looked very surprised but when his features relaxed he was pleased._

"_Yes you may. I was hoping you might choose them as they will be the most excepting, these three here are in Gryffindor," He gestured at the marauders, "Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin." I beamed at all of them. "You will be side along apparating with me to your house to collect your belongings and leave a letter for your family. I must tell you how extremely sorry I am for this inconveniance as school has already started for muggles but I need you under my eye as you heal." I nodded suddenly remembering my friends, family, soccer team and teachers who I had responsibilities to.--_

_A few days later I was sitting on an empty bed in the girls dorm in Gryffindor Tower. It was all so real. Everyone was at the feast where Dumbledore was announcing my arrival but Madam Pomfrey had insisted I was in no condition to be welcomed by the school tonight after all that traveling. I had brought all my harry potter books just in case and I had been allowed to wear whatever I pleased since I wasn't a student there. Soon I heard the footsteps of the other students and four fourth year girls came through the door giggling when they noticed me. The very obvious Ms. Lily Evans in her red hair stepped forward._

"_You must be the new girl Dumbledore told us about. I'm so glad you're in our dorm! But he was very vague. Tell us about yourself. Why are you here? I'm Lily Evans by the way."_

"_Oh. Hi, um, Nikki Varney. A werewolf attacked me and James potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin found me and brought me to st. mungos." the other girls gasped as I quickly glanced at Lily to see if she already knew about remus and she did. "And Dumbledore wanted me here to heal properly and safely. I'm a muggle by the way." I finished lamely._

"_Alice Heart!" said a short, strawberry blonde girl. Hmmm… future Mrs. Longbottom… "Did you get bitten?" she asked anxiously. _

"_No. Isn't that strange?" I glanced at Lily and glimpsed a small smile but then it was gone and they were all nodding their agreement._

"_I'm Arabella Figg! This is gonna be awesome! Having a muggle in our dorm!" I snorted and rolled my eyes at the porselan girl with long black curls and grayish eyes._

"_I highly doubt that!" I said_

"_Hey, I'm Emmeline Vance." said a tall blonde girl with pink highlights._

_I became fast friends with these girls and somehow never slipped a word of how much I knew about all of them. We walked down to the common room where I felt very out of place in my muggle jeans and tank top, even though they showed off my figure way better than the Hogwarts robes. It was crowded but I immediately spotted the marauders who were walking straight for us! Sirius stepped up and slipped a hand around Arabella's waist which she smacked and scowled up at him. Of course he likes her, she's like the prettiest girl in Gryffindor. Alice had already gone over and sat with Frank and his friends. Emmeline started flirting with a tall sixth year boy and Peter eyed her jealously. _

"_Sirius Black keep your little pervert hands off me! Just because you're totally hott does not give you the right to go around feeling me up!" Arabella shouted in his face. He smirked slightly and she huffed at him and plopped into a nearby arm chair. _

"_Oh but bellsies! Don't you love me?" he pouted on his knees._

"_Don't call me that it sounds like a cow and of course I love you, you twit." She flicked his ear._

"_Ow!" he whimpered and then pounced on her tickling her. After a few moments of watching the two flirt I turned my attention to James. He was sitting on an arm chair a few feet away with a book open in his lap. He was staring at Lily sitting on the couch reading a novel. He suddenly shook his head, his eyes remorseful. After a few moments of trying to read the book he turned his attention back to Lily. He leaned over slightly to see her eyes better and he fell out of his chair onto the floor cracking his glasses. He scrambled to his feet and flushed. Lily giggled._

"_Careful James, Reading books can be very dangerous." she joked without looking up from her book. I realized Remus wasn't there._

"_Um- I'm going for a walk." I announced to the group._

"_Want some company?" Lily asked._

"_Um, no.. I've got some- er thinking to do, you know.." I replied awkwardly._

"_Oh- okay then" she turned back to her work. I didn't catch James and Sirius look at each other suspiciously._

"_Yeah me and Prongs are gonna go upstairs to work on our latest prank!" Sirius said._

"_yeah! Cmon Padfoot!" James yelled already halfway up the stairs._

_I strolled around for a few minutes and several times I was convinced I heard hushed voices. I was too lost in thought to remember James' invisibility cloak. After a few minutes of wandering aimlessly I decided to go to the room of requirement. I had memorized the directions and found it easily. I walked past three times thinking, 'I need a place to cry and some things that will comfort me.' when a plain white door appeared._

_I opened the door and stepped inside. It was the perfect temperature and it was slightly dim. A giant fluffy bed sat in one corner and tissue boxes were sitting everywhere as well as bottles of magical eye drops. My little pocket Bible was on the nightstand and a whole wall was covered in photos of me and my friends some that I hadn't even owned. However, these pictures had been magically modified, they moved! It was then that I noticed a large wooden cabinet across from a big squashy couch. I opened it and inside there was a giant tv. Flicking it on I saw that it played some of my best memories. I could hear everyone's voices and laughter! I went to a set of mirrored doors on the other side of the gargantuan room. I gasped as I opened them. Inside were all my favorite clothes and some outfits I wished I owned. It was then that I noticed a very small door, like a doggy door, in the corner. I peeked my head in and saw a room about the size of an average bathroom filled with various harry potter paraphernalia. On the other side of my big walk in closet was another much larger door. I slipped through it and saw before me many magical objects I had always wished I could have owned, my favorites. _

_This room was magical! (pun intended) I sat on the couch watching my friends and family and crying and laughing all the while eating various honey duke's sweets as well as familiar muggle foods. _

_James and Sirius were confused. How did this muggle girl know about the room of requirement? They were amazed at what they found when they followed her in. They sat on the floor off to the side of the couch watching her favorite memories with her. Driving down some road with a blonde girl who looked older blasting rock music and singing along, screaming with pleasure after her team won some weird sport championship, a shampoo and soap fight with another younger blonde, laughing in the bay while yet another blonde searched frantically for her bikini bottoms, laughing with the two younger blondes and some guys, pulling a prank (they grinned proudly), singing a rock song at what appeared to be a concert with some friends, laughing and having a huge water fight in a pool, riding a rollercoaster, playing soccer with one of the blondes, finding out she made some team called JV, meeting new friends, winning best dressed at something called spirit week, laughing so hard with her friends that she cried…. The videos just went on and on and they noticed how violently she was shaking now. The TV flicked off and the two boys got up and stood behind her._

"_Why? Why did she do this to them? They're the best people I've ever met and I barely know them. Well technically I know them better than some of my own friends.. But.. Oh God! I have to do something? But what about Harry? OH MY GOD! First James and Lily.. Then Sirius.. Then Pettigrew.. Then Remus the last marauder.." I let out a quivering sob. "Why? It just isn't fair! Remus.. Oh poor Remus.. And Tonks!…marriage….poor kid… almost lost his godfather!!" I began to mutter. The door to the hall swung open and I jumped. No one could access this room with someone else using it.. What the hell?! Harry lies! _

_It was Remus. Phew!_

_James and Sirius took this as their cue to leave and they slipped out the door behind Remus._

"_Oh! Hello." He said musingly, "Fancy seeing you here."_

_Then I realized one of my requirements was something to comfort me and I needed a person, a specific person and the door must've revealed itself to Remus as he walked passed. I think he guessed this too._

"_Did you need to see me?" he asked grinning and sitting next to me. Then he frowned when he saw my tears and began to wipe them off with his strong hands._

"_What's up?" he asked concerned. I smiled despite myself, he cared about a girl he hardly knew. But then as fast as it had come, the smile was gone. Of course he cares! He's the one who attacked you dumb butt!_

"_Nothing," I muttered looking away from his amber gaze. He slowly stroked my hair and then as if it had been an impulse he couldn't restrain his hand snapped back. I looked up slowly. He's Tonks'… he's off limits! Uh-uh no way! You are NOT changing the future by becoming attached! He is WAY off limits! _

"_Moony," he looked surprised that I had called him by his nickname, " I know what your nickname means, I know it was you who attacked me." I said quietly staring into his eyes which conveyed no emotion. They could hide his secrets so well._

_Neither of us said anything for awhile and when I decided this was sufficiently awkward I stood up to leave. His hand clasped around my arm. He stood up and pulled me closer to him. He towered over me and I could feel his toned muscles under his shirt as he gripped my waist. We were now so close our bodies were almost touching, his hands on the small of my back and mine on his chisled chest. Off limits.. Off limits.. Off limits! I was screaming inside my head, however I guess the more strong willed side of my brain urged me to press on. He smelled entirely too good to pass up and before I could resist he had bent a little and his lips pressed against mine. It was a quick and innocent kiss but Remus quickly stood straight up and stepped back. _

"_I'm-I'm sorry! I- I kissed you! What was I thinking? We hardly know each other!"_

_I just blushed and smiled sheepishly. He was so sweet. _

"_I wish I could tell you.." I meant to think but it slipped out of my mouth._

"_What?" he asked a bit puzzled now._

"_Oh, it's nothing- really." I mumbled._

"_Why can't you tell me whatever it is? After all you know my biggest secret." he said._

_I snorted._

"_You have NO idea…" I mumbled._

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Nothing! Nothing…. Just erm talking to myself!" I said looking away._

"_Ok… Well then how In bloody hell do you know my secret?" he asked jokingly._

"_uh-erm, I recognized you.." I said with a giggle._

"_Oh Puh-lease! Am I that awful looking?" he asked a little hurt._

"_No! Your rather nice to look at actually!" _

'_Oops! Oh crap!'_

_Remus started to smile._

"_Oh really?" he said smirking slightly. _

'_well at least I got him off topic….'_


	2. Who's to blame?

**A/N: Sorry about the underlining last chapter!! ****J**** I didn't mean to do it but sometimes after I upload it I look at the story and everything is underlined!! And I don't know how to fix it… sorry.. Anyways here's the chapter:**

So for the past 4 days Remus hasn't been talking to me and every time our eyes meet he blushes and looks away. He also never told his friends about…us…It's actually rather cute.. Even though it is frustrating as hell! And today was no different. I was absentmindedly spreading jam onto my toast when I looked down the table to where the Marauders were sitting. My eyes swept over James who was trying to convince Peter to give him the last Pumpkin Scone to rest on the quiet sandy haired boy whose Amber, gold-flecked eyes were resting on me, well not for long. After the three seconds it took him to realize that I was indeed looking back at him he blushed profusely and quickly turned back to his chocolate chip pancakes. A tad bit disappointed I let my eyes wander but the fourth marauder caught my attention.

His grey but still striking eyes were searing right into my own blue ones. And HE didn't look away. Instead he flashed a smile that could have adorned the cover of Witch Weekly before turning to help James wrestle the scone away from Peter.

"Uh- Nikki?"

I turned around to see what Lily wanted.

"Want some toast with that jam?" she giggled.

I looked down to see that while I was staring I had gotten jam everywhere and my toast was now soggy and soaked through with strawberry goodness. I looked up and gave Lily a sheepish shrug and look. In exchange she gave me a knowing but also stern look before it was replaced with a laughing smile as she grabbed a napkin to help me clean up my jelly mess. 

I didn't have classes since technically I wasn't a student so after my visit to madam pomfrey, during which she changed my bandages, gave me more healing potion and ointment, I wandered around the eerily silent castle. Most students who had free periods spent them finishing up homework or studying or even tutoring younger students to earn house points. So when someone sat down beside me on the edge of the lake I jumped, but just a little.

I looked over and saw Sirius Black. He smirked at my puzzled expression.

"Shouldn't you be in class right now?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Nah!" he waved his hand at me as if that had been the most ridiculous suggestion, "I've got Muggle Studies, I usually blow it anyways, but hey! What better way to study muggles than to spend your otherwise wasted class period with one?" he replied leaning back on his elbows so that I had to look down at him.

"Alright then, ready for your first lesson?" I took on a mock serious tone.

He nodded emphatically.

"Okay then- hmm- where to begin.. Ah! I know. Have you ever played soccer before?"

"Um- no," 

I grinned like a mad woman.

"Ok, see that window up there? That's the girl's dorm. Point your wand at it and say Accio soccer ball." 

He obeyed and out of the open window flew my red and black DC United ball. He caught I in his large hands but I quickly grabbed it away and placed it on the ground.

"No hands!" I shouted as I pulled the ball away and began dribbling across the huge, sprawling lawn. I explained the rules, positions, techniques and even a few moves to him and he quickly caught on. I was having a blast and I was in my element. So in my element in fact, that I forgot my injuries and took no heed to play carefully. Sirius approached me at high speed but I swiftly spun around him. The move stretched my thigh where I happened to have a deep wound. I yelled out in pain and fell to ground. I had tore open the wound and it had already bled through the bandage.

"Fuck!" Sirius yelled as he fell on his knees beside me. "What did I do? Did I hurt you?" he sounded terrified and his eyes had grown wide and fearful like a puppy dog.

"No, no I just reopened one of the cuts. You've got to help me apply pressure to stop the bleeding."

"But I need to go get help!"

"ok, ok," I tried to breath as the bleeding continued. My thoughts were muddled and my vision blurry from the unbelievable pain and loss of blood. "Can you produce a patronus?" 

He nodded.

"Alright send message up to the castle via Patronus."

He obeyed and turned his attention back to my leg. 

"Now apply pressure to it!" 

He removed his white button up shirt and wrapped it tightly around my leg and then proceeded to wrap his finger around the now covered wound and squeeze down tightly. I gasped and closed my eyes tightly against the pain and gritted my teeth.

"Don't stop!" I yelled at him as he let up a little. "I can handle a little pain if it'll save my life! Do you realize that I tore and artery?!" 

I couldn't see his reaction as my eyes were still closed but I heard him breath in sharply and tighten his grip. Before long I heard loud cries and footsteps and felt myself being levitated onto a stretcher. I opened my eyes to look at Sirius. He stood there dumbfounded and dazed, bloody hands at each side and his grey, puppy eyes huge. I managed to give him a small smile and he visibly relaxed and gave me back a tiny grin. Then everything went dark. 

When I awoke in the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey was very upset with me.

"Playing football? What were you thinking running around the whole lawn with a boy! 11 days after a werewolf attack! Are you insane? No visitors! Oh Merlin help me!" she said as she bustled around me. She closed down the ward and turned out the lights as it was now about ten at night. Fifteen minutes later I was beginning to drift off when the door creaked and in came… no one…. Or 3 someones under 1 invisibility cloak….

They appeared one by one, James, Sirius, Remus. James grinned widely as he presented me with a few chocolate frogs. Remus smiled and scuffed his toe against the floor and said "Hey how are you feeling?" (well, that's a start!) I informed him that I was fine. Sirius, however, looked pale and scared.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked.

I laughed and nodded.

"I'm fine just lost a bit of blood. But it's ok, I'll be fine!" I insisted.

He took my hand. My eyes clamped down on it. 

'WHAT?! What is that??' my mind reeled.

"I'm really, really sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

I squeezed his hand reassuringly and convinced myself that it was just a friend thing

"I know Sirius. You didn't hurt me. I over exerted my injured body. It's my fault." I searched his eyes. "ok?"

He nodded. That's when I noticed Remus staring.. Was it angrily?… at Sirius hand, his thumb caressing the back of my hand. His eyes never left our hands. James started bouncing on the balls of his feet very impatiently.

"Guys! C'mon! I have early morning detention tomorrow and I seriously need to get to sleep!" James whined. Sirius and Remus muttered in agreement and James grinned and waved at me before turning to go. Sirius squeezed my hand and met my gaze before saying goodbye. Once both had turned and began walking towards the end of the ward Remus looked at me. His hand reached out and his finger traced the lines that he himself had tore into the skin of my face. His finger continued down to the marks on my neck, but then stopped and he looked at me, really looked at me and didn't turn away for the first time in 4 days. His eyes never left mine but his fingers traveled down my arm and found my hand. He looked sad, confused and worried.

"I'm sorry, because this isn't Sirius' fault or your fault. It's mine." he whispered. Then he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. And before I could even respond he took off down the ward and disappeared behind James and Sirius under the cloak. 

Just as the door creaked shut again Madam Pomfrey peeked her head out of her office. Her eyes searched the ward three times and finding nothing she pulled her head back into her office muttering.

"I could have sworn I hear those three trouble makers!"


	3. I'm Sorry

**A/N: Once again sorry for the underlining… I don't know why it does that…. ****L**** sorry!! **

I almost spit my breakfast across the table as I laughed along with Lily. We had become fairly close friends because of how much we had in common. We were both bookworms and loved school. We were both what some people might call 'goody-goods'. (Well except I let Sirius skip class the other day- but I mean tell me one girl who can say no to Sirius Black-and I don't mean it that way! EW!) Not to mention she was one of the nicest people I had ever met and she was funny too! As Alice, Arabella, Emmeline and I calmed our laughing Lily excused herself to the library. We all waved goodbye and then continued our eating until James Potter walked up and sat beside me.

"Ladies" he inclined his head to each of us. It was interesting to watch each of their responses. Arabella rolled her eyes, Alice giggled and Emmeline just responded with a snort and a,

"Morning Potter,"

Then as one unit they stood swiftly and turned to exit the great hall. Arabella turned to me just as they were about to walk off. She gave me a look as if to say 'You coming?' But I just waved a hand at her and mouthed 'don't wait up for me.' She shrugged and continued with the other girls and I focused my attention on Potter. Looking at him I couldn't help but smile. He was grinning and he always looked like a cheerful little boy when he grinned. He was actually rather peculiar, but still a very happy person.

"Morning!" he said in a sing-song voice.

"Morning, what's got you so chipper?" I laughed.

"I don't know, I'm just a morning person!" then he smirked a bit, "And I've got a plan to get Evans to warm up to me."

I just rolled my eyes.

"No! I'm serious! Well, not SIRIUS… I mean I'm not joking."

"Okay, so what is this plan of yours?"

"You!" he exclaimed grinning madly.

"Me?"

"Yes, you." 

I stared at him for a moment before laughing out loud.

"You're going to use me to get to Lily?"

He nodded.

"Wow potter you are a sleez." I laughed shaking my head. But he just smiled.

"And proud of it."

"Okay, well I'm not doing it." 

"What?! C'mon! I need you Nikki!"

"Get someone else to do it! I like Lily and I'm not going to do that to her!"

"But me and Lily are meant to be together!"

"Then you'll be together one day whether I help or not!"

I stood and marched out of the hall but James was close on my heels. By the time I got to the portrait hole his begging and whining had begun so incessant I cracked. I stopped right in front of the fat lady and spun around to face him. My hands flew to my hair tugging at it like a crazy person and I yelled into his face.

"YES! ALRIGHT! FINE! I'LL DO IT! NOW WILL YOU SHUT UP?" He looked quite taken aback but then he smiled… again… bloody smiling git! 

"Marauders promise?"

When I looked at him confused he held out his pinky. I held out mine and then what started as a pinky swear turned into a very long and complicated handshake that only the marauders would think of.

Then he skipped past me to say the password.

"Oh wait forgot something!" he turned and grabbed my hand in his own, "Girlfriend."

My jaw went slack.

"NO WAY!" I tore my hand out of his grip. "I AM NOT REPEAT NOT GOING TO PRETEND TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"You made a Marauder promise!" he smirked.

"You tricked me!!" I shouted in defense.

"You still promised." 

I huffed in resignation and offered him my hand. He grinned AGAIN and entered the room. We quickly spotted Sirius, Peter and Remus sitting in one corner of the room. They all had wide eyes locked on James and I. We sat down on the couch very close to each other.. Closer than friends would sit and trust me, the marauders took notice.

"Hey guys," Sirius said still looking miffed.

"Hey!" James said jovially, "Guess what?"

"What?" Remus asked in a wary tone still eyeing our clasped hands.

"Me and Nikki are dating! Isn't that great?"

"Dating?!" Sirius and Remus shouted both jumping forward in their seats. This outburst caught the attention of the rest of the common room and they all went quiet.

"Yep! That's right fellow Gryffindors! I am dating the new Muggle girl!!" He smiled around at the rest of the room but his smile faded a little when everyone started talking again and he noticed Lily wasn't even there.

"Well-well, what about Lily? I thought you loved her!" Remus asked desperately.

"Lily? Her?" James scrunched up his face and waved his hand as if that was THE stupidest suggestion. "Nah! I'm over her! Way over her!"

Sirius and Remus shot each other 'uh-oh' looks before stuttering out their congratulations to James.

We spent the next several hours in the common room due to the rainy Saturday we were having. We all played cards and chess and Remus and I even managed to get them to do some homework. And It just so happened that while we all were laughing heartily at a joke Sirius told, the portrait hole swung open and in came the one and only Lily Evans. Instantly my body tensed up knowing how wrong what I was doing was. But before I could even think I felt James' big hands on either side of me and I was pulled onto his lap. I looked at him first only to see him watching Lily out of the corner of his eye. When I turned to see her reaction I saw her toss her head back and climb the stairs with no sign of damage. But I saw what everyone missed when they turned their heads. Lily ran the last few steps to the dormitory. And I felt the pang of what I had just done and boy did I feel terrible.

James went up to bed early that night but I snuggled up on a couch and read a book. Not long after I started I felt someone's silent presence as the couch shifted beneath me because of the added weight. I looked up from my book to be met with a pair of amber brown eyes. Remus looked distraught like a little boy whose lost his mother. I sighed and smiled before enveloping him in a hug. In my mind I was screaming how sorry I was. When I released him he stood and silently offered me his hand. I took it and we quietly walked off through the castle. We didn't say a word until we reached the soggy grounds. There was still a light drizzle but I didn't mind much. I studied Remus quietly as we walked through the rain. He still held my hand in his much larger hand and he had placed his left one in his pocket. His gaze was set over the sprawling lawns. He turned to me and smiled slightly.

"I'm sorry." and that's all he said.

"For what?" I giggled.

"No , Nikki, this is serious. I'm sorry because of what I am."

"What?" now I was confused.

He growled and tightened his grip around my fingers in frustration.

"Because of what I am. I'm a werewolf. I don't know if you understand that. But I act as though I deserve these things.."

"Remus," I touched my other hand to his shoulder. He released his grip on me and collapsed to the ground. 

"I don't deserve to have beautiful things. I don't deserve my friends, this school, you."

"No, Remus, that's a lie." I brushed a strand of wet hair from his face.

"No it's the truth, because what I am, who I am, destroys all beautiful things."

"Remus, that isn't who you are. Being a werewolf doesn't define you or say anything about who you are. It's just a diagnosis."

He finally looked up at me.

"How can you say that? Look at what I did to you." He again traced the scars on my arms, chest and neck.

"What if I had bitten you?" he released a sob. 

I wrapped my arms around him and let him release his torment. He cried and wailed and wept but all the time he clung to me. We sat like that for nearly an hour and I whispered words of encouragement. We were both soaked through and a bit muddy but his eyes were finally dry and the horrors he had known his entire life had been released, if only for awhile. He stood strong and offered his hand pulling me up beside him. His face was grave and stone-like. I shivered a bit in the cold rain without his warm body pushed up against mine. He noticed of course and he swept me off my feet (quite literally) and carried me up to the castle with my head nestled against his chest. After we got out of the rain he put me down but still kept his arm around me. Before we entered the common room he stopped me and pulled me close. I could see he was teary eyed. He placed one arm around my waist and with the other hand he held my chin firmly. Our lips brushed briefly and in the small pause I whispered, "What about James?"

He winced and his body tensed for a moment before his eyes opened and were flashing with anger. 

"Fuck James"

And with that our lips crashed together once more but Remus was more aggressive and hungry than before. I gently pushed him off after a minute or so and whispered goodnight and with a wry smile I scampered up to the girls dormitory.


	4. Back Off

**A/N: Oh wow.. Ok I know it has been soooo long.. But I just reread this story and took up interest.. Life gets pretty crazy so I am really sorry if I even have any readers left after such a long abandonment.. So here is a sort of Christmas present.. **

That night when I entered the girls dormitory soaked and muddy it was late and all the girls were asleep, or so I thought. After I had changed into dry pajamas and wrung out my hair, I crept into my bed and rolled over to find Lily lying in bed, eyes wide, staring at me. She pushed herself up to match my sitting position and I noticed her wand clutched in her hand.

"Lumos." she whispered and as the small beam of light lit up the space between us I noticed her eyes were bright red and her cheeks were blotchy.

"If you weren't a muggle I would curse you into oblivion right now." She half whispered, half snarled at me.

I put my hands up in front of me in defense.

"Hey, Lily, this isn't very fair. You never said anything about liking James. In fact, you often made it a point that he annoyed you."

She huffed in defeat and quickly wiped away a lone tear.

"I know, I know… I'm sorry Nikki. I shouldn't have attacked you like that. It's just… I really, really do like James. I'm just so unsure of myself… and of him… and of having a relationship with him…"

She trailed off and I smiled at her.

"It's ok Lily. I understand. And anyways I'm not even sure he likes me much, I think he is still into you."

She looked at me skeptically.

"Honestly Lily. And to be honest I am not that into him… Oh gosh… that sounds bad doesn't it?" I giggled. "How about this? I will be your eyes and ears behind enemy lines. I will tell you the ins and outs of James Potter and being in a relationship with him. And that way you can be sure."

She brightened considerably and jumped off of her bed and gave me a huge hug.

I laughed and hugged her back thinking of how one night that had gone so wrong had been righted so easily and I had gained control of the pretend girlfriend situation.

………………………………....

The next morning me and the three girls in my dorm arrived at breakfast early and sat down and began our morning chatter. Very soon after the 4 marauders entered. Despite James being a morning person it was much too early for them to be at breakfast, Remus and Sirius were definitely not morning people. I watched as Sirius started to walk towards the open spot beside me and then remembered James. James immediately sat beside me, took my left hand in his right and kissed me on the cheek. I blushed furiously. Sirius sat on James' other side and Remus sat across from me with Peter next to him.

"Good morning beautiful." James purred. I just smiled at him as I felt Lily tense on my other side. Besides, I knew the compliment could only be for show. The few scratches I had sustained to my face were healing but even without those I wasn't anything special.

The rest of breakfast passed in about the same way, James being flirtatious and complimentary, me being smiley and quiet, Sirius being uncharacteristically calm and quiet and Remus looking quite frustrated as he stabbed his breakfast with his fork over and over. With about 15 minutes left until class started, James looked down at his watch and swore as he jumped from his seat.

"I completely forgot! Professor Hood asked me to come to class early today so he could speak with me! Ugh… I am so gonna get Saturday morning detention now…"

He raced off but before he was 5 bounds away he turned on his heel, scampered back, kissed me quickly on the cheek and raced off again. Immediately Sirius slid over to take his place. I jumped a little when I felt him place his hand on my knee. What was with these boys??

He smiled alluringly at me and moved his hand a fraction higher. Thank god I was wearing jeans!

"I have free period right now. Would you go to the library with me and help me study for the test I have next period?" He squeezed my leg gently.

I stuttered over my words and blushed bright red.

"Yeah, s-sure. W-why not?"

"Great! Let's go!" He grabbed my hand and began to pull me up with him.

Remus made a disgusted noise as he pushed away his plate and glared into space.

Once in the Library I sat down at a table in the middle of an open area, totally oblivious to Sirius' plans.

"What do you have a test in?"

"Muggle Studies." He grinned cheekily.

"Alright…" I was suddenly hesitant.

"Well first I need a book. Come with me." He held out his hand and led me through the maze of shelves. We continued into the darker, mustier corner of the library. Everything was dusty and all the books seemed to be large, old tombs. What could he possibly need back here for muggle studies? He stopped when we reached a dark aisle. We were so deep into the old, seemingly unused section of the library that everything sounded muted. It was eerie and it made me nervous. Sirius turned to face me and got closer and closer while I backed up. He didn't stop until my head hit the shelf. Suddenly his hands were on my hips and his lips were at my neck. He was aggressive and hungry and at first I was too shocked to do anything. His left hand found its way down my thigh and lifted my right leg up around him while his right hand wound itself into my hair.

"Sirius.. Stop. No. Stop Sirius!"

He silenced my protests with his lips and forced his tongue into my mouth. His hot breath mingled with mine intoxicating me for a moment and I responded with force. I felt my hands wrap around his neck pulling my body into his. His body immediately responded to the contact. But then he had his hand up my shirt and I broke away. Disgusted at myself. What kind of slut was I? Sirius looked confused and unhappy.

"What did I do? Did I do something wrong?"

"No," I shook my head, "I am dating James, Sirius. That was wrong of you, and me too." I could hear the shame in my voice.

"Oh c'mon babe…" He grinned and slid his hand back up into my hair and leaned back down to my neck. I pushed at his chest gently. He didn't relent so I pushed harder and he still didn't budge.

"Sirius please! Stop! I can't do this! I'm not this girl!"

He came back up and looked in my eyes. He looked lost.

"Alright…." and he dropped his hands, finally.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, looking at the ground as I scuffed my toe against the floor. He just nodded and I walked away leaving him their looking like a lost puppy.

As I rushed from the library I ran into Remus in the hall and fell.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry!" He offered me his hand and pulled me up.

"It's ok I should have been paying attention…" I drifted off when I saw how his face seemed somehow twisted as if he was trying to not let his emotions show. "You ok?" I asked him.

"Oh yeah I'm fine… Have fun with Sirius?" He spat as he looked away and unconsciously crossed his arms.

"No." I said with contempt. He looked up surprised.

"Oh! Well hey, I'm skiving Ancient Ruins so wanna hang out?"

I gasped in mock horror.

"Remus Lupin! You are skiving class??"

He laughed and shook his head at me.

"Well I would be delighted to spend my morning with you." I smiled at him and so we headed off to the common room.


	5. You're Infectious

**A/N: Ok yes I know that it seems like the boys have lost their minds. But I have a reason for this don't worry. It's not just random.**

The morning I spent with Remus was very pleasant. We talked a lot about our families and he seemed genuinely interested in my boring muggle life. Our conversation danced carefully around the subject of his "abnormality." Eventually he had to go because he wasn't quite rebellious enough to skip two whole periods. After he was gone I was left in the empty common room so I decided to do some reading. I hurried to my room to find my Harry Potter books. It couldn't hurt. The common room was empty and they were the hard cover versions without the book sleeve so the title wasn't even on the front. I would be fine.

I decided on the seventh one and carried it lovingly in my arms back down to the sofa in the common room. I flipped to the part where Remus has a confrontation with Harry at Grimmauld Place. I read for a awhile and lost myself in the book as I should have known would happen. I wasn't sure how much time had passed before I was interrupted.

"Watcha readin?"

I jumped as there was suddenly someone standing behind me leaning over my shoulder from behind the couch and reading.

"Nothing!" I snapped the book shut in Sirius' face.

"Ah c'mon! Let me see!" He laughed as he tried to gently tug the book from my hands. But I had a death grip on it.

"It's an awfully thick book to be full of nothing." He grinned as he lifted himself over the back of the sofa and plopped down beside me. I indiscreetly slid farther away. He laughed and slid even closer than before. He reached out to grab the book again but I quickly stood up and was halfway up the staircase before he could catch me. I stuck my tongue out at him and finished my climb up the stairs. I safely stashed my book with the other six and returned to the common room to find that Sirius had vanished. Thank God.

In my world any girl would kill to spend just a day with the marauders but I was already pretty tired of them. I sighed as I collapsed into an especially squashy armchair. They were exhausting and drama at Hogwarts was intense. I mean, we should have expected as much. Regular teenagers can get nasty when mixed up in drama, mix a little magic in and Voila! You have all out hysteria… well not yet but it might as well be…

And then the portrait hole opened to reveal 4 people I did not want to see right now. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Perfect. Maybe I should have asked to stay in Slytherin instead.

"Hey Niks!" James said as he skipped over to my chair. Great, a nickname. I hate nicknames.

"Uh.. James, I really prefer Nikki."

He pouted but nodded his head.

"Ok Nikki.. Wanna go to Hogsmeade with us?"

"Now?" I asked skeptically raising my eyebrows. "Don't you guys have classes?"

They all looked at each other conspiratorially.

"No! I am not being involved in one of your…"

I was abruptly cut off by james- quite literally- sweeping me off my feet and throwing me over his shoulder. I shrieked in protest and pounded my fists against James' muscular back in vain.

"POTTER!!! Put me down this instant!!!"

But Sirius came around behind him grinning malevolently in my face.

"Now Nikki, we are going to need you to be quiet while we sneak out and…" "I WILL DO NO SUCH THING! I WILL MAKE SUCH AN UNHOLY RACKET THAT…."

And then I couldn't talk anymore. I clutched my throat and moved my lips frantically but not a sound came out. And then I noticed Sirius slide his wand back into his pocket. I glared at him with all the ferocity in me but he just smirked back and chuckled. I continued to glare and clenched my hands into James' back and I felt him wince a little. None of this stopped them and an hour later I found myself in the Three Broomsticks with my arms crossed tightly across my chest and a grimace plastered on my face as I refused even a sip of the Butterbeer they had bought me (despite how I was dying to know what it tasted like).

I looked up and they were all grinning encouragingly at me. I Hmphed at them and shook my head.

"Oh quit being so stubborn!" Remus nudged me in the side with his elbow.

"I can be stubborn if I want! After being dragged all the way here and having my right to speak for myself taken away."

"Technically you were carried here not dragged." James pointed out while grinning.

I gave him back a dry, sarcastic grin.

"Just one sip. You will love it! We just don't want all our efforts to give you a good Hogwarts experience to be wasted." Sirius said.

I gave in and took a tiny sip and then a huge gulp. It was delicious. Like drinking liquid caramel, except not, it was much better.

After two more butterbeers I was out on the dance floor laughing and dancing with the four. They had formed a kind of circle around me as we danced. The music and laughter were loud and the dancing was quick paced. I came to Peter first. He was only a little shorter than me but he was awkward in his movements and handed me off quickly around the circle to Sirius who grabbed my hands putting one on his shoulder and grasping the other in his hand. He half danced, half skipped me around our small circle and then threw he into a dip so low I wondered how my back was bending that far and then whipped me up again handing me off to James still dizzy. James twirled me around a few times only increasing the dizzyness, making the pub flash around me in bright, loud scenes. He passed me off and the pub stopped spinning and I only saw one thing, Remus' face. My arms were around his neck and his around my waist and we didn't even dance. The other's smiles slid off their faces and they stopped with their laughing and clapping and dancing and we were all completely still. After a few seconds I broke away from our slightly intimate position. And let me tell you… their efforts were not being wasted.

………………………………..........

Well the next day I paid for all that jumping around and dancing. I was sore all over and decided to go to the hospital wing to make sure I didn't do too much damage.

Well I didn't do the damage, but there was definitely something wrong.

I could tell it was really bad because Madame Pomfrey had a really worried expression on her face and she even called for Dumbledore. I could hear them having a hushed conversation in her office as her door was cracked.

They both walked out wearing somber expressions.

Dumbledore sat down beside the bed I was sitting on and looked at me very seriously from below his glasses.

"Nikki, I am afraid you have contracted a very serious infection from your wounds, not a muggle infection though, and it is a strain Madame Pomfrey has not seen. We both believe it is in your best interest to send you to St. Mungos."

I stared back at him at first in shock and then as the news settled in, fear.


	6. Done

**A/N: ok first a HUGE apology to all you awesome people who actually take time to read my story… Next, some clarification: Yes Remus, James and Sirius all like this girl (who is supposed to be me, btw I'm really not that conceited!) Remus is the one who actually really really likes her and the other two its just a new girl thing. They are just teenage boys who think ok a new pretty girl… plus its just fun to create fictional tension like that ;] and lastly, I realize Nikki has been doing some very active things (soccer, dancing, etc.) with her 'terrible' wounds… well she is healing very fast because it was a young werewolf and she is a muggle receiving magical medicine and care. That is my explanation. Lol. As for the way she looks.. Yes, Remus did tear up her face a little. But just enough to create a few scars down the side… basically they just make her look more intense but not ugly.**

My first day at St. Mungo's was horrible. I had to take dozens of awful tasting potions and the whole place smelled like disinfectant. Not to mention I shared a room with some kind of crazed hag who sang Jesus Christ Superstar twenty four- seven! Of course I had no visitors and nothing to entertain me at all.

The second day was much the same. Crazy hag singing, gross potions, nasty smells. It wasn't fun. But at the end of the second day a doctor came to see me.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Shneebly. My team has been studying your infection and have concluded that it is a strain as of now unknown to the wizarding world. However, we would like to experiment with a new treatment but we of course need your permission. But also we would like to conduct a thorough examination before we begin to make sure it is necessary."

"of course."

I had still not even seen what my wounds looked like since I had contracted the infection. First the doctor pulled back my hospital gown to reveal my thigh and I gasped. It was a bright, unnatural purple color around the edges of the wound. It looked the same underneath the bandages on my arm and I guessed that my neck and face looked similar.

"Well Miss, It looks very serious and we would like to proceed with the experimental treatment."

"Well… What is this experimental treatment?" I asked quite nervous for the response.

"A blood transfusion of dragon's blood. It is a typical procedure; the difference is that it is a rare type of dragon we have never used and we have never done this procedure on a muggle."

"Well… Since that is really my only option… go ahead with it."

The next day I was hooked up to the IV with the blood and the treatment began. It was slow and boring and soon I was asleep. When I woke up I had a visitor.

"Hey Nikki! You're almost back to normal color!"

"Hey Lily," I smiled weakly.

"I am so glad you woke up. Your roommate has been driving me insane!"

We both laughed as we glanced over at my now snoring roommate.

"So much for experimental." She said nodding towards the IV. "It seems to be working fine."

"Yeah let's just hope it stays that way."

We laughed and chatted until a nurse came to tell Lily visiting time was over. She had brought me a book and I read until I fell asleep.

The next morning the doctors detected a glitch in the treatment. My body had an extremely raised temperature in reaction to the transfusion. I was running at about 101 degrees Fahrenheit but I had no symptoms of fever nor was the temperature damaging. The doctors couldn't figure it out.

But after several days of now new complications and no change in temperature the doctors concluded that it was a permanent reaction and that it was doing no damage to my system. In fact, it had done the opposite. All my wounds were almost completely healed. So after a week and a half at St. Mungo's I was happily released back to Hogwarts where I was greeted quite warmly.

Despite the drama I was glad to be back among Lily and the Marauders. It felt comfortable now. But I was afraid because my wounds were almost healed and I would have to go home soon.

"James, If you are really so into Nikki as you claim, How come you haven't kissed her yet?" Sirius asked while stalking James through the library stacks.

"Because I am waiting for the right moment!" James retorted while yanking out a huge book from one shelf.

"Yeah, uh-huh sure. What I think is that you don't even like her. You are just using her so you can make Lily jealous." James peered over the top of his book.

"How did you know?"

"prongs, I am your best friend. You really thought you could hide this from me?" Sirius smirked.

"Alright, alright, you caught me. Just don't tell anyone or it will ruin it."

"I just needed to know because, dude, I'm pretty into her… so I was wondering if you could just… you know, give me the go ahead?"

"Oh, Padfoot, go for it man! Just try to keep it private… I know you aren't good with that but we are trying to keep up a façade here got it?"

"Yes sir!" and with that Sirius zipped out of the Library.

Sirius pulled me by the hand through corridor after corridor. I was completely blind folded and giggling as I kept stumbling over my own feet. Finally we stopped.

"We have arrived!" He ushered me through a door and whipped off the blindfold. We were in a tiny, dark room with a small, round table and two chairs. On the table was the only source of light (a few candles), and a delicious looking meal. I knew we must have been in the room of requirement because we hadn't left the castle.

"Sirius… this is amazing!" I praised him. He laughed and pulled out my chair for me. I sat.

"I don't think I'm dressed for the occasion." I glanced down at my threadbare hoody and old jeans.

"I can fix that!" And a wave of his wand later I was dressed in a classy, black dress and heels. He had even thrown in some earings and a necklace and my hair was in a fancy updo. But as I looked down I noticed the outrageous neckline. I looked up at him with a glare.

"Sirius…"

"Ok, ok, I'll fix it. It was worth a try anyway." He laughed and created a more modest neckline for the dress.

"Thank you." I reached for my glass and it magically filled itself with butterbeer.

"If I am dating James, Why is my first date with you?" I joked.

"I am in on your little secret. How long did you think Prongs could hide something like that from his best friend?"

"So I can tell Remus too?" I asked now excited.

"Well… No not really."

"What? Why not?"

"Because if too many people know, even fellow marauders, the secret is sure to get out soon."

"Well Lily likes James anyways she is just afraid of being in a relationship with him!" I huffed crossing my arms over my chest. Sirius blinked.

"She does?"

"Well of course she does! Are you boys blind??"

"I guess we are…"

"So can I tell Remus now?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Nikki, I brought you out to dinner. Let's not talk about James and Remus." He grinned.

"Ok…"

"Want to dance?"

"In this tiny room? With no music?" But being the room of requirement the walls drew back to create enough room to dance and soft music played from nowhere.

"Well then, problem solved." Sirius grinned and took my hand in his. The music was slow and sweet and my arms went around his neck and his around my waist as we swayed junior high style to the music. He was so tall I could lay my head right on his chest and close my eyes. After a few minutes I felt his hands lower and one of my hands snapped down to raise them again. His chest heaved lightly under my head as he chuckled.

"Sorry," he murmured into my hair.

"It's okay," I murmured back. He tilted my head back with one hand and looked into my face.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered softly. I scoffed.

"Yeah, I'm sure I am, especially with these." My hand traced the slightly indented scars on my face and neck. Sirius' hand caught mine at the base of my neck and stopped it my holding it tightly.

"No, you really are. And what my idiot friend did to you doesn't change that at all." I pulled away.

"It isn't Remus' fault! It's hard for him to control himself in his wolf form!"

"Yeah I know! It's just he did hurt you…"

"Stop it Sirius! You are supposed to be his friend! If you are going to judge him too who else does he have?" The anger and tears were bubbling up inside me.

"Nikki, I didn't mean it like that." He tried to grab my hands again but I pulled away.

"Sirius, I don't want to talk to you right now okay?" And with that I left. Once outside the door I stripped off the dangerous high heels and took off down the hall sincerely hoping that that was a 'friend date' and that Sirius was not being serious.

A few days later I was looking for Remus during lunch to ask him a question about something I had read in a book on transfiguration. He wasn't in the great hall so I decided to check the dorms. I stopped outside the marauders' dorm hearing loud moaning inside. I hesitantly knocked and heard a weak 'Come In'. I did so and found Remus shivering and moaning in his bed under the covers. I ran to his side and dropped to my knees.

"Remus? What's wrong?" I asked very frightened touching his icy shoulder. He opened his eyes to stare at me; his hair was soaked with cold sweat.

"Nikki, you should leave."

"No! I can't leave you like this! You need to get to the hospital wing!"

"No! No- I prefer the dorms, more private." He coughed and tried to prop himself up on his elbow but I kept him down. "Tonight is the full moon. I usually get sick but this month is really bad for some reason. You really should go. You don't need to see me like this." Another convulsion ripped through his body.

"No! I am staying right here!" I protested. "Are you sure this is normal?"

"Yes… It just usually doesn't get this bad." I clasped his hand tightly in mine and laid my head against the bed near his face.

"You are freezing."

"Well that is normal. But I feel extra cold to you since you are permanently so warm." He brushed his shaking hand against my cheek and began to smile before his hand clenched into a fist and his whole face tensed. His body shook violently and he looked like he was in extreme pain. I lifted my head and squeezed his hand and stroked his hair whispering words of comfort. He whimpered a lot after the shaking subsided a bit.

"Thank you." He whispered his eyes still closed. "I really don't deserve you at all."

"Remus, You deserve the world." And I kissed him. His lips shook along with the rest of his body and I felt his salty tears drip onto my hands holding his face. He broke the kiss and a snarl ripped through his teeth. I looked into his face to see a flash of intense fear.

"It doesn't usually happen this early…" He managed before another growl escaped from his throat. In a last ditch effort to protect me he flung out his arm knocking me across the room and I scrambled behind James' bed. I cowered on the floor sobbing silently as the ripping sounds and feral screams echoed in the room. After what seemed like forever, all was silent except for the pounding of my own heart and the heavy panting of Remus across the room. I had no idea what to do. I heard the scrape of claws on wood as he slowly crossed the room. Somewhere in the back of my mind I noted that my breathing had stopped. The clacking noise stopped and the panting sounded horribly close. I looked up from my position on the floor to see an enormous sandy wolf standing over me. I resisted the urge to scream and forced myself to take some deep, even breaths.

"Remus…" I whispered. The wolf laid down in front of me on the floor. "Remus?" I sobbed. I slowly rose to a kneeling position. Even more slowly I reached out a hand to the large muzzle and stroked it once. The huge dog twitched but had no worse a reaction and so I continued. His eyes looked anciently sad as they watched me. I was still crying. It seemed like I couldn't control myself, the tears just kept coming. Eventually I exhausted myself with my tears and fell asleep across the paws of the beast.

I woke up in the same position but he had rested his muzzle against my head. I stroked his long, furry neck tenderly but looked up when I was startled by a low whine. A big black dog was settled on the bed beside us and his tail was wagging slowly as he panted. Beside him a majestic white stag stood looking awkward and uncomfortable in the small and crowded dorm. I pushed the heavy muzzle off me gently but the wolf continued to doze. James and Sirius came back to their human forms.

"Ummm… Explanation please?" James waved his hand over the wolf. I shushed him before responding.

"Don't wake him. Well… He was really sick and I was comforting him and then…this just happened."

"What the hell do you mean it JUST HAPPENED???" Sirius waved his arms in the air madly. "This doesn't just happen! Why aren't you dead?"

"Thanks Sirius." I joked. Both of them glared.

"Ok, ok!" I held up my hands in defense. "I kissed him.. And then he started snarling and he pushed me away and he.. transformed and then he came over and just laid down. I don't know how or why, he just did." Sirius and James looked at each other completely perplexed and then shouted in glee before group hugging me. And then the growling started. Before I could blink both James and Sirius were pinned to the ground. Remus was a terrifying monster again, teeth bared and snarls ripping from his chest. I cried out in a whimper and he turned on me but as soon as he saw me he calmed and sat back on his haunches smiling and panting like a dog.

"Listen Nikki, We should really get him down to the forest before anyone notices that there is a werewolf in the dorms." James said while patting Remus' head.

"I understand." I said smiling.

"Au Revoir!" Sirius waved from the door. They were gone and I plopped down on the bed chuckling to myself and shaking my head.

The next day James approached me at breakfast looking very ragged with huge bags under his eyes.

"Hey Nikki."

"Morning James."

"Hey, We need to talk."

"Oh no, The four most dreaded words in the English language!!" I gasped smirking at him but giving him my attention none the less.

"Well… I think its time you stop being my fake girlfriend."

"James… Are you dumping me??" I made my voice crack and tried to look heartbroken. It didn't last and I soon let out a giggle.

"Yes, I am fake dumping you!" He smiled but then he turned serious, "Its just… I think this whole idea of making Lily jealous was pretty dumb… and childish.. and see, Sirius is kinda into you but that's no big deal because ya know.. its Sirius! But Remus… He is like Into you into you… like for real.. soo I think we should be friends."

"Agreed." We smiled and shook on it.

**A/N: Ok… so now Nikki is all Remus'. James doesn't want her (he never did), and Sirius will move on.. it was just a fling but with Remus.. there is really something there. I had a bad day and Fanfiction is my mental comfort food so this did me some good. :)**


	7. Plans

A/N: Ah! It's been so long! I feel so bad! I've been meaning to update for weeks but something keeps coming up. That seems to happen a lot when you have 2 AP classes. Anyway… Some of my Slytherin qualities came out a little too much today (aka I was really mean to someone who really didn't deserve it.) And now I feel terrible about it (my Gryffindor/Hufflepuff side kicking in) so I'm gonna try and keep that out of the chapter as much as possible but if it starts to seem melancholy that's why.

A few days later Remus was back up in the dorms good as new. He had been avoiding me all day but I hadn't the slightest idea why. He hadn't done anything wrong at all. Of course, after class I cornered him in the library. He really should have thought of a better place to hide.

"Hi Remus," He jumped as he had been sitting on the dirty library floor, leaning against the bookshelf and reading a small paperback novel and had not seen me coming. "Watcha reading?" I said in a sing-song voice plopping down next to him. His face broke in to a small smile as I did so and he responded.

"Under Their Spell. It sounds really cheesy but it has a very interesting plotline and really good characters!" He blushed a little as he tried to justify his literary choices.

"No, no! Don't be embarrassed! Trust me, I'm the last person to be embarrassed in front of because of whatever book you're reading. I mean, I read Twilight! (A/N: chill twihards! I like Twilight! I just know how to like something and be able to poke fun at it as well.)" I laughed. But he just stared at me blankly not knowing the reference.

"Muggle thing…." I muttered, waving my hand noncommittally.

"Right… Well… was there something you needed?" he was looking at the ground and fiddling with the book in his hands.

"I just wanted to talk. I mean… I feel like you've been avoiding me lately."

"Avoiding you? Ok yeah… maybe I have been avoiding you a little." He grinned sheepishly but kept his eyes fixed on the ground.

"But why Remus?" my voice cracked a little revealing that he had truly hurt my feelings.

He glanced up from the ground when he heard the crack in my voice but quickly averted his eyes to the floor again.

"Because I'm ashamed." He muttered so quietly I could just barely hear him.

I paused for a moment before responding.

"Ashamed of what? Who you are?" He flinched and I realized I had just defined him by his 'disease.' "Oh, Remus! I didn't mean that!" I cried, "I just.. I just meant that.. I don't think you should have to feel ashamed of something that is beyond your control."

His face still looked hurt from my previous statement and it tore me up inside. I reached out to touch his arm but he flinched away.

"Nikki… don't touch me. I'm a monster." His voice shook.

"Remus! Don't ever say that!" I demanded, "You are not a monster! You are the sweetest, smartest, most gentle and caring man I have ever met! Even when you transformed early and could have killed me you didn't!"

He finally looked up into my eyes but his expression looked devastated.

"The point is that I could have hurt you! According to my nature I should have hurt you! According to my nature you should be dead or a werewolf now!"

I sat there silent for a few moments just looking into his devastated eyes.

"Remus… I may sound like a crazy person. But I really don't care!"

At this he placed his face in his hands and shook his head. When he spoke it was slightly muffled and garbled from speaking into his palms.

"Nikki, I transformed into a werewolf in my dorm, in front of you!! And you are telling me that you don't care? Not at all?"

"Not at all." I spoke quickly and confidently.

He let out a huge exasperated sigh.

"What am I going to do with you?" he said as he pulled his hands away. He had just the hint of a smile on his face. I laughed, exceedingly happy that he would stop avoiding me.

The very next day I was told that I could return home in perfect health. I would take a portkey there with a ministry representative. Upon arrival the ministry representative would wipe my memory as well as my parent's memory and replace it with memories of me getting into a car accident and getting these scars after a long hospital stay.

When Lily was the first to arrive back at the Gryffindor Common Room after classes she was the one to find me on the couch sobbing. I was a mess. I was hysterical. I knew I would have had to leave soon put I was putting off thinking about it and now I only had three days left at Hogwarts, three days left with Remus, three days left til this amazing dream ended. Worse than only having three days left, it would never matter how many days I had left because when I returned home I would forget every single one of them. Lily finally got me to calm down enough to be coherent.

"Oh Nikki!" she hugged me tightly, "We must go speak with Dumbledore about this! I'm sure he is open to negotiation!"

"But… *sniffle* it isn't Dumbledore's decision *gasping breath* it's the ministry's…*sob*"

Lily just looked at me sympathetically. Her eyes showed that her heart was breaking for me while the lines in her forehead showed her mind was working tirelessly to think of a solution.

The Portrait hole swung open to reveal four laughing boys.

"And then she says, 'But sir, I thought german slugs would work just as well! AHAHAHAHA!!" Sirius' voice boomed into the common room as he walked in hunched over and slapping his knees in laughter. James, Remus and Peter followed laughing nearly as hard and all wiping tears of laughter from their eyes. We both stared in their direction for a few minutes as they calmed down until they finally realized they weren't alone in the common room. When they all saw the state I was in, they froze. Teenage boys don't deal well with teenage girls' tears.

"Um, is everything… ok?" James asked, clearly extremely uncomfortable as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Oh yes James! Couldn't you tell by looking at her? Everything is just dandy!" Lily nearly shrieked at him. He took a step back and his mouth opened in a little 'o'. Remus walked over slowly and launched himself over the back of the couch to sit next to me. One of his arms went around my shoulders and his other hand began to wipe away the continuously falling tears. I knew I must look a wreck, red, swollen eyes, blotchy cheeks, runny nose, messy hair. I bet I was a real looker at the moment. The other boys had wandered over to stand behind the couch awkwardly.

"Oh Nikki, What's the matter?" Remus looked so concerned.

"I-I.. *hiccup* I have to go home in three days! *sob*"

He looked shocked even though he must have known this was coming. However, after the shock he looked very upset but soon even that was covered with determination.

"Well- Well… that's alright! Don't be sad!" He smiled brightly and put his hand under my chin. "I will write you every single day! We all will! And I will come visit sometime! I vow to visit you even if I have to fly across the continent!" He grinned and looked very pleased with his easy solution. We weren't even dating but we both knew how much we had come to care for each other in the last few weeks. If only it were that simple! With the biggest sob yet and a new torrent of tears I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his chest my body shuddering with my chokes and sobs.

"Oh Remus! Remus! You don't know how bad it is!" I nearly screamed into his chest. "They are taking away my memories! So it will be like you never existed!" At this his body became rigid and stony beside me. And then his arms crushed me into him.

"No! We can fight this! We will just go to Dumbledore and…"

"It's not up to Dumbledore." Lily interjected. "It's up to the ministry."

"Well Dumbledore has got to have some kind of influence at the ministry hasn't he?" Remus shouted still holding me in his crushing hug.

"Not over this Remus." James replied solemnly. "This is an issue with the statute of secrecy."

"THE STATUTE OF SECRECY??" Remus roared. "Are you serious?? No, no way! They can't do this."

"Yes they can." Lily presented him with the long letter addressed to me on the Ministry of Magic Muggle Relations letterhead.

"NO." Remus wailed. "It isn't fair!"

"Remus calm down. Get a grip on yourself." Sirius reprimanded. "If you keep carrying on like this I'm leaving. It's one thing for Nikki but Remus grow some frickin balls! You have to think of a plan to circumvent the Ministry's decree. Ya know? A way to stick it to the man!"

Sirius' calm, rational interruption got us all mostly back into our right minds. I calmed myself down as did Remus and we got to work on this plan. After a few hours we knew what we would do. The Marauders and Lily were going to fill up a journal for me with information about themselves and memories of my time here and hide it in my bag so when the ministry erased my memories I would gain a small amount back. Personally, I thought the plan was brilliant.

The Next day was my third from the last day at Hogwarts. Remus had planned to skive off all his classes today pretending to be very ill. 11 am found us both lying on the old, worn rug in the center of the common room playing truth or… well really just truth because we weren't daring each other at all. It was Remus' turn.

"Truth." He said.

"Alright, what's your favorite color?"

"It's Green but that is a lame question so try again!" He laughed.

"Ok fine! What was your first thought when you first met me, like the first time when you weren't a wolf?" I grinned cheekily.

"That's easy. I thought, wow she is gorgeous."

"Oh you liar!" I laughed while punching him in the arm. He laughed rubbing his arm and pretending to be hurt.

"Ok, well that was one of the first. My very, very first thought was shame at having hurt you." His voice went quiet for a moment but then brightened again, "But now it's your turn!"

"Truth." I said immediately. He flipped onto his side and propped himself onto his elbow so he could look down at me.

"Do you want to kiss me?" His face looked nervous and apprehensive as if he was truly worried I would say no.

"Always." I smiled as I brought my face closer to his. He closed the distance and we shared a slow, sweet kiss. It wasn't deep or intense but it was filled with longing and the fear of the threat of the two days left was tangible in the air. But the kiss was broken at the sound of a long wolf-whistle issued by one Sirius Black coming in the portrait hole followed by a broadly grinning James Potter.


	8. A Werewolf Loves me

**A/N: Just in case you didn't know- Last chapter used to be just an A/N saying I was thinking about abandoning the story but recently I replaced that chapter with a new one that actually continues the story so to understand this chapter you have to go back and read the new one before this. **

I woke up early on my second to last day at Hogwarts. I was having trouble sleeping and had tossed and turned all night thinking of the Ministry erasing my memories. While I of course missed my friends and family back home I was starting to think I may very well be in love with Remus Lupin. There were so many problems with me being in love with Remus Lupin.

First of all, he was supposed to grow up and marry Tonks! I was ruining the time/space continuum or the plotline of my favorite fiction book… or both! I was so confused about that part. Second, he is from a different time all together! I don't know how that worked either but I knew it couldn't be simple. Even if they managed to hide the book they were filling sufficiently so that the ministry workers wouldn't find it how would he write to and visit me if I was in another time period or… alternate universe or whatever… I guess they never really considered this because they didn't realize that I wasn't from their time period or universe. The worries and problems went on and on and on and they blew my mind because I could not understand how any of this was possible in the first place. I hadn't considered any of these time/space continuum and alternate universe questions before because this was such an amazing dream come true and I was afraid if I over thought the dream that it would end.

Finally the sun rose so I had an excuse to get up and get ready for the day. I needed to move around to free myself from these thoughts. I was in my clothes and down in the common room before anyone else in Gryffindor and I sat there trying to lose myself in a book and failing. I had just grabbed the first book I glimpsed without thinking and ran down the staircase. My eyes ran over the same words on the same line on the same page over and over again grasping no meaning from the symbols. Too much was running through my mind. Suddenly the words connected in my mind and I read: "_Harry, Guess what?" said Tonks from her perch on top of the washing machine, and she wiggled her left hand at him; a ring glittered there. "You got married?" Harry yelped, looking from her to Lupin._

My whole body froze as my eyes read over the lines again and again. He wasn't for me. I knew that from the beginning. I couldn't have him. It wasn't right. And then both his hands landed on my shoulders and snaked down my arms to take my hands. His arms were entangled in mine and he was bent down over the back of the couch and whispering in my ear.

"Hey Nikki," He breathed, his hot breath caressing my neck and giving me goosebumps all over. "You are so gorgeous," His thumbs were rubbing circles on the back of my hands. "Nikki, I love you." He whispered it so quietly with his lips brushing my shoulder and muffling the words. Remus Lupin just said he loved me. He just said he loved me. Oh Crap, he just said he loved me. I had no idea what to say, especially after all my tossing and turning and thinking last night and now the words laying in front of me. He was going to marry Tonks.

My moments hesitation made him instantly uneasy and he stood up, pulling back til his hands rested again on my shoulders. Then they were gone and he was walking around the couch to sit next to me. I pushed The Deathly Hallows to the side and fidgeted my fingers staring intently at my lap. He scooted very close to me on the sofa. Our legs were touching. He gently placed his fingers on the inside of my forearm placatingly. At this touch I took a quick glance at him before retreating my gaze back to my lap. He had the most horrible mixture of emotion on his face. He looked hurt and rejected because of me withholding any kind of response to his declaration of love. He looked embarrassed at having admitted such a deep emotion when I appeared to not be as deeply emotionally involved as him. He looked worried and concerned for whatever was bothering me and finally he looked confused.

"Nikki…?" he started but trailed off before saying anything else. I was so unsure of what to say, how to proceed. What was the right thing to do here?

"Remus." I acknowledged him and nodded for him to continue.

"Are you… Is everything… Did I do something?"

I looked up again only to see the same expression except the hurt was quickly increasing. That broke me. I couldn't hurt him like this. I embraced him with all my strength not wanting to pull back.

"You didn't do anything at all Remus." I felt the tension leave his body at this statement. "I'm just… upset that I have to leave you. And… scared I won't remember you."

I hugged him tighter if that were possible. I had made up my mind. There was no way I could have possibly damaged the time/space continuum more than I had already done and the Harry Potter books are supposed to be fictional anyway. So maybe they aren't supposed to work out EXACTLY how Rowling depicts. These were all just self-indulgent rationalizations for my actions but I really didn't care. Remus kissed the top of my head.

"I know, I know, I'm upset too. But you will remember me, everyone, everything that happened to you here. We've made sure of that."

Remus didn't bring up the 'L' word for the rest of the day. Not that I minded him saying he loved me but I'm pretty sure he minded that I hadn't said it back yet. I was almost positive I loved him as well but my mind was absolutely whirring with problems, issues, possibilities. I was very distracted all day but that was not what prevented me from saying that I loved him. What prevented me from saying I loved him was J.K. Rowling's words floating through my mind again and again. Remus was going to marry Tonks. He was going to marry Tonks and have a beautiful baby boy who would grow up and marry Bill's beautiful baby girl. Remus was going to love Tonks one day. He said he loved me but that was for now, while he was still in school. What about when we are both grown up? Will he love me then? Or will he love Tonks? I mean, we were only kids! Remus, of course, noticed my distress.

We were at lunch and all these thoughts were jumping around my mind ceaselessly giving me no peace. I must have a poltergeist for a conscience. I sat slumped at the Gryffindor table, my face resting on my fist and my other hand twiddling a fork around in the pasta I had in front of me. I hadn't eaten a bite but I also hadn't noticed that Remus hadn't taken a bite either. He had sat perfectly still, not touching me, just staring at me for the full twenty minutes I had sat in this position twiddling my fork. Finally, with ten minutes left in the lunch period he stilled the twiddling hand with one of his own.

"Love, what is the matter?"

I looked at him sullenly to see that both his dark brows were pulled far down over his gorgeous light brown eyes and his forehead was deeply lined. He wasn't smiling but seemed to be trying not to grimace.

"Nothing, nothing." I tried to brush him off.

"Nikki," He raised one eyebrow. "That is a dirty lie."

He was grinning now.

"C'mon love, tell the truth."

"I can't." I said looking down.

"Oh, off with this again are we?" Remus threw both hands into the air with a huff.

"Remus…" I appealed. He looked at me flatly.

"I- I…"

"Nikki," his tone sounded understanding and his facial expression suddenly shifted. His eyes now looked filled with misery but the rest of his face was contorted in an awkward way that looked like he was trying to seem settled but was disguising his true feelings of agony.

"Nikki, If you… If you don't… love me, you can just tell me. Don't put yourself through this! I can take it like a man. Don't worry and don't stress yourself out like this over me! I didn't expect you to reciprocate my feelings at all… I mean look at me… with my… furry little problem…" Remus continued to rant but he stopped when he saw me shaking my head with a small little melancholy smile on my face.

"Remus, the problem isn't that I don't love you and I am worried about hurting your feelings."

He looked pleasantly surprised. His eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened.

"So- So you aren't upset because of me? You aren't… acting like this because of guilt over me?"

"Ha." I laughed humorlessly. His wording was so ironic because I couldn't truthfully say no to either of those questions.

"Well… What I mean is… Remus, I do love you." I felt myself smile wide at saying the words. His smile was immeasurable in return and he grasped my right hand in his left and squeezed it tight.

We finished lunch with playful flirting and conversation before he left me to go to his next class and I gave him a farewell kiss on the cheek and watched him leave the Great Hall. At the door he turned around and I blushed at having been caught staring after him but he grinned enormously and gave a little wave. In return I blew him a kiss and he turned and headed to class practically bouncing on his heels.

I turned back to my lunch feeling much less troubled. The troubles were still there but I pushed them to the back of my mind thinking only: "_He loves me! Remus Lupin is in love with ME!! *squeal* oh, I am in love and with a marauder and he love me too!" _I grinned to myself. Sorry Tonks.


End file.
